FanFiction

Dubbiel: The Walking DISASTER!!!

by Mimi-Chan

It was a day like any other for the Not-so-Great, Great Cherubim, Dubbiel. For some reason, his coffee-machine just didn't want to work in the morning. When it finally did, however, coffee spewed everywhere, especially in his face. He got a towel and began to wipe his face off, but when he felt something else get rubbed onto his face, he screamed like a girl and threw it to the ground.

As he had suspected, it was the little roach, which apparently had fallen in love with Dubbiel. Amazingly enough, the little critter had always been there when ever he was at a meeting or taking a shower…or even watching his little light ball/TV.

Dubbiel rolled his eyes and shook his head; he really hated that little bug. He checked his schedule for the day.

March 18th, Thursday

7:00: Wake up, eat breakfast

7:30: Head to work

9:00: Go to Festival with Raphael and Mikael at Briah

4:30: Get home…and so on

He sighed…why did he tell those two buffoons he'd go to that stupid festival anyway? Dubbiel left his house and went off to work.

When he got there, all the other Cherubim were slacking off. Two of them were playing checkers while an entire group watched a little Light Ball/TV show called 'All My Children.' All the rest of them seemed to be interested in something inside of Dubbiel's office.

"Dubbiel-Sama! Dubbiel-Sama! There is a package in your office! It says it's from the HOLY HERMIT himself!!!" one of the Cherubim shrieked happily.

Dubbiel raised a brow as he walked into his office, pushing other Cherubim aside. "How could the box talk though?" he asked them as he eyed it suspiciously.

"Well," said a young girl, "that's what it said on the box. We all know packages are nonliving things. We learned that in Pre-k!"

The other Cherubim laughed and left Dubbiel to open his package in peace. He cut the wrapping off and opened the box. As soon as he peeked inside, something exploded in his face. It was indeed from the Holy Hermit; a message from him!

"What the hell are you DOING Dubbiel?!?!" Adam Kadmon screamed in his face, "Look at the other Cherubim!!! They are all slacking off!"

"I'm sorry, Adam Kadmon, I- I" Dubbiel was cut off.

"Don't apologize! Christ! I can't stand it!" Adam Kadmon said as he walked around the office. "Do you have any idea how long it took me to get here? Well? Do you?"

Dubbiel shook his head.

"I thought so." Adam Kadmon grumbled, "Well, you'll never know! See if I ever send you any more things from Atziluth! Heheh, I might even have you demoted and have Katan take your place!!!"

(A 'oh yeah!' could be heard as soon Adam Kadmon made the remark about Katan. If you're too stupid to figure out who said it, it was Katan.)

Adam Kadmon disappeared in a cloud of red smoke. A small piece of paper was all that was left on Dubbiel's desk it read:

Dubbiel, you're such a (*^(&% jackass!!! Don't you ever try to get advice from me again!!!

With 'love,'

Adam (PS: DIE!)

'Yikes!' Dubbiel thought to himself as he threw the piece of paper out of the window. He looked at the clock; the time was 8:57!!! He was supposed to meet Raphael and Michael in the lobby of his office building!

"Holy &%$@!!! I gotta get going!!" the Cherubim shrieked as he ran out of the door of his office. All the other Cherubim were back to the same activities they had been doing before the wonderful ordeal with the Holy Hermit. He ran into the elevator before it could close. One thing was for sure though, he did not take time to notice who it was.

Rosiel and Katan stood staring right back at him. "O-oh, hello, Rosiel-Sama, Katan." Dubbiel said nervously as he turned to face the other way.

"Turn around, fool," he heard Rosiel's voice grumble, "Adam Kadmon told me about you. He told me to not put up with your antics." Dubbiel turned around as soon as the elevator stopped moving. Yes, it HAD stopped moving, however, the doors weren't opening. Rosiel looked over to Katan with an annoyed look on his face.

"Rosiel-Sama, what should we do?" Katan asked him as Dubbiel fell to the floor. Rosiel shrugged and looked over at Dubbiel.

"I don't know, Katan. Maybe if this son of a (&^%* wasn't here, we would've gotten stuck in the elevator." Rosiel replied to Katan. Dubbiel stood back up and glared at Rosiel.

"How DARE you call me that!" he exclaimed as Rosiel grinned evilly.

"I wouldn't suggest getting me mad, Dubbiel," he said, "because I could kill you in one second flat." At this comment, Dubbiel winced. Dubbiel looked around the elevator and loosened his shirt collar.

"Isn't it getting hot in here to you?" he asked the other men. Rosiel nodded and picked up some of his long, thick hair and stuffed it into a ponytail. That didn't really help though because he still had handfuls upon handfuls of hair anyway. Katan sighed and blew a hole in the side of the elevator.

"Well, we might as well fly down there." Katan said as his wings appeared and he jumped out. Rosiel followed him, still fighting with his hair. Dubbiel gulped and jumped out as well, but then his wings disappeared and he hit the floor really hard. So hard in fact, that he felt his heart go up to his brain. (What brain?…That's right, he doesn't have one!) Amazingly enough, Dubbiel was still able to get up and walk! He was kind of woozy from the impact of hitting the ground at full force. Not only that, but he had a really bad headache and a really stiff neck. 'Man, I'm not having a good day today,' he thought to himself as he walked out of the basement. (He fell all the way to the bottom, duh!)

There were Raphael and Mikael. They were staring right at him.

"Sure took ya long enough, Dubbiel." Mikael said, grinning.

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